for April travelers |
After listening to the allegations, finger-pointing, denials, and verbal fencing coming from Washington, D.C. the past few months, I finally sat down the other day and read a bit about the lives of some of the people involved. Do you realize how many of them know each other and have worked together or socialized together in the past? You could sit down to draw a chart of who-knows-who and meet yourself coming back. These are not novices at interpersonal relationships. These are adult human beings, operating in a political microcosm inside American society. |
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Of course, this sort of feeding frenzy is a relatively new phenomenon in our world. In the early days of the United States' history, if a President was accused of something, the general populace might not even find out about it until he had finished his term, if they heard about it at all. We live in an age when you can't pass through a grocery checkout area, or view a TV newscast without being confronted with the gory details of the latest political scandals. We give catchy names to the stories, and talk about them with friends, family, and even total strangers. |
It wasn't so long ago that the office of President was a protected one, surrounded by an inner circle who did not reveal indiscretions (alleged or proven) to the media and general public. |
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The truth is that we like to think that whoever is selected to be in the Oval Office is of a high caliber mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Some of us get out there and campaign for months, even years, to see our chosen candidate make it to the highest office in the land. And even if our favorite is not elected, we have a history of standing behind the person in the office, presenting a united front to the allies and enemies of the United States. |
In the event of a threat to national security, or to the safety and welfare of the American people, we want a President who can make swift, clear-minded decisions of the highest moral and ethical nature. We don't want some weak-minded loose cannon who could cause us all to be annihilated with his or her hasty words and actions. |
That having been said, let me move slightly to another arena here. There is a woman who has been in the news lately because of her ongoing relationship with a male beneath the age of consent. She was ordered by a judge to stay away from the boy. Instead, she is having his child. From what I understand, she has children of her own near this boy's age. She has been a mother, a nurturer, an adult member of society. But she has become involved in something that blurs the boundaries of acceptable relationships in our society. Many of you reading this right now know someone who has betrayed you in a relationship, or someone who has overstepped a boundary. It could be anyone you trusted to have your best interests at heart. They may have sought you out for betrayal, or they may have slipped in their resolve not to hurt, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. In either case, the results are the same. You feel betrayed, used, and invalidated. |
My question is, what do we tell the children in our world? Many of our statutes are designed to protect children from adults who wish to blur the boundaries. Some laws have been enacted to protect those in the workplace from having their work and their personal life forced together in a way that is improper. People in positions of power and authority are expected to behave in a manner which does not put those with less power in danger. |
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And when there are no written laws, there are often unspoken boundaries. Friends do not betray friends. Spouses remain true to each other. Parents nurture offspring, and do not abuse their trust. Police officers protect and defend. |
Don't they? Well, not always. We fail. Everyone does, at one time or another. But we seem to feel that children will grow up to "get it right" anyway. Get it right - from whom? We have lied to our children about what is important in life. We have lied, not just with our words, but with our actions. |
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Adults have blurred the boundaries of relationships in many ways, both between adults, and between adults and children. We have failed so often in our own relationships that we have no moral fiber left with which to rear the children in our society. |
When adults no longer follow society's rules, can we be surprised when children have no respect for us and what we say? |
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Can we be surprised when children want to do everything before they are adults? They want to drink, have sex, drive, smoke, and do all the things we have traditionally reserved as choices for adults, and not for children. |
When their disappointment and rage lead them over the edge of reason, and they take up weapons, can we tell them they are evil, and demand they be treated as adults, when adults have not shown them a better way in our own failed relationships and desires? |
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When polls tell us that adults are saying, "It doesn't matter what people do in their private life as long as they do their job," what message do we send to the children? |
Does it matter if one is a skilled leader, a brilliant teacher, or a consummate defender of human rights, but goes home from work and attacks his or her spouse, or takes a lover on the side, or fondles small children in order to maintain his or her own feelings of control? Does it matter if corporate executives draw a company out of financial ruin, and then corner subordinates in their office and demand sexual favors, or cooperation and loyalty in dishonest business dealings? Does it matter if the public relations manager produces brilliant promotional material, but entices their very married boss sexually at every opportunity? Or Perhaps they spend time after work extending Happy Hour into three hours, and then get behind the wheel of a car. |
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We Westerners are great at compartmentalizing life. We separate secular and sacred, work and play, private and public. But people are not portions of humanity. We are what we are by plan, by design. We can't destroy one part of our life without eventually destroying all of it. |
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And when things go wrong in our society, we tend to pacify ourselves that another law to restrict guns, or another law to pass out condoms to children, or another law to punish wrongdoers with death, or more police officers on the streets will make everything all right again, and that our children will be safe, and can grow up to be productive, moral citizens. |
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We pass the buck. We dodge our own responsibility as living, breathing role models, the only real "law" children can understand. |
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Does it matter? What are we telling the children? |
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